Friday, September 29, 2006

Pure Manly Manness

Ok so being a handyman is not one of my few skills, but I can use a screwdriver and cutters are easy.
However the skills involved in drilling and hanging pictures into cement walls are still hard to fathom.
So for this reason, my flatmate and I went to the wonderful store "Bunnings". A quaint little buy every thing you ever needed for fixing a home or living out doors kind of store. Charming really.
SO it's late night shopping and we enter the store at about 6:15pm.
First things first, to reclaim some of my lost manhood. We look at BBQ's since I don't own one, we weight up the pros and cons of all of them. In the end decide that if we could we would buy the $2000 BBQ and not have an oven in the house. ($2000 on a BBQ, I cringe at the thought of spending $200, I mean who the fuck needs a $2000 BBQ. Is it friggin gold plated or something, does it come with it's own butler. $2000, what a WAFTAM.)
Then on to eskys, and then down an isle that advertised "Golf Course". We did walk down this isle, but found no golf course, not even a Par 3 course or a mini golf. False advertising sucks.
Then to the highlight of any venture into the hardwear store. The power tools section.
Plenty of manhood to be found in there, just smell the testosterone coming off those drills and sanders, and don't get me started on the routers.
Well we spotted a hammer drill, perfect for drilling into hard surfaces, of which cement is one. We looked at the price, looked back to the drill, then to the price. Um "Was it made in china by kids under 12 getting paid 3c an hour for their labor?"
The drills was $39. This changed our night. We now saw thay we could indeed afford to create our own power tool dynasty with cheap and nasty tool that were sure to break on the second use. But the comment of "But at that prrice we can't afford not to." came into my head.
Now to find what else we need.
An exploitory insurge down isle 2 found the wall plugs and the screws. But wait were they the right screws, ah ha, no, there ones are better.... and these ones are even better than those, wow, who knew there were this many types of screw. Way tops.
So wall plugs screws. Screwdriver?
So back to the tools section. Find a screwdriver with inbuilt storage of the bits, wow, and its made by "Black and Decker", Sold.
Drill bit? But which one, the choise is to large, I won't be able to over come my awe at the sheer size of the drill bit universe.
Ok, ok, breathe, in, out, in, out. Relax.
So what do I need. Masonary, yep concreat is masonary. But what brand, well this one seems to be the largest in the wall of drill bit universe. Now what size, how the hell should I know?
Stay calm, stay calm. Just look at the wall plugs. Oh, it tells me. 6.5mm. Excellent.
Ah ha. the wall of drill bit universe is no match for my analitical genious.
I hold aloft the drill bit of power and a beam of light spotlights me in its awe, and angles sing of future glory.
The drill, by god the drill. Which one. The $39 el' cheapo brand. The $60 brand name. Or the $45 ok brand. Split the difference, $45 it is then.
Go on grab it.... no, look out. BANG. Ok we won't be buying that one then, get the one behind it.
To the checkout Batman.
$80 later we energe into the glorious night with manhood intact and testostrone levels high, full of joy and happiness at the handy works we are about to embark upon.

All glory be to the Hammer Drill and the Maconary bit of power.
Hardware stores are so tops.

2 Comments:

At 11:57 am, Blogger Tallgirl said...

Yep that's great, now how about the drilling the hole into the wall part? I believe that's where the true test of manliness lies...

 
At 12:03 pm, Blogger Sloth said...

The drilling starts on Saturday. Then let the picture hanging begin.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home